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Sent to a friend My sons father and i have been together for almost 4 yrs, my major issues with him is he gives zero affection what so ever,affection is so rare that when he does try to give me some i feel like,\"what the hell is this? are you cheating or something?\" i dont feel like he is supportive of the things i want to do in life, he doesnt act like he wants to move out of the environment he lives in. Okay, Im young, 22 yrs old, I love this guy and I want my son to have his father around on a daily basis not when it is convinient for him. I dont like his mother, who likes me though, shes a severe drug addict, the house they live in should be condemned and he acts as though he doesnt understand why I do not want to come over there with my child. Im confused, we seldom talk about our relationship and when I do he never wants to respond.I understand growing up with your mother addicted to drugs is extremely hard but why would you stay when you have an open opportunity to live and be free and happy with your son and your woman? Last nite I told him he could stay at my house (yes, i still live at home, but i pay bills and carry my wieght around the house), do you know this fool came stayed 2 hrs then went runnin back to his house where there are countless crack heads knockin at the door all hours of the nite, brother loud and obnoxius when people are tryin to sleep, and mother can be found somewhere in the bathroom with the shower runnin but she is not taking a shower she is hittin the pipe. I told him that by summer 2007 I am moving to Georgia, going back to school for Music and pursiung the life I want in the music business. He doesnt even bat an eye, he is very internal and i believe that is going to be the downfall of our relationship.
Mind you Id rather not be around his family, his brother is a mooch who doesnt know how to care of life for himself, his sister is a manic depressant who one minute loves me and wants to know where I got my leather jacket from then the next she wants to spend time with my son but feels because she no longer likes me that she does not have to interact with me while my son is in her care (crazy as hell,i know), mother is on drugs has stolen over $200 from me (bill money mind you) stolen endless amounts from him, she has physically attacted me.
I love HIM thats the only reason I am still around, but I dont know what to do, I see big things in my future and I want him to be there, but I feel like he is too jaded by the life he has lived to give me what I want out of this relationship. Any Advice?
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Comments
- YOU SAY YOU LOVE THIS MAN, BUT LOVE WILL NOT SAVE HIM, AT LEAST NOT YOUR LOVE. THE ONLY LOVE THAT WILL SAVE HIM IS THE LOVE HE HAS FOR HIMSELF. IT IS OBVIOUS THAT THIS MAN HAS BEEN TRAUMATIZED BY HIS MOTHER'S DRUG ADDICTION. WHO WOULDN'T BE? WHEN YOU EXPECT NOTHING YOU GET NOTHING AND YOU ALSO DON'T GET DISAPPOINTED. ----DISAPPOINTMENT I AM SURE HAS A LOT TO DO WITH WHY YOUR MAN IS NOT AFFECTIONATE. YOU CAN'T GIVE WHAT YOU DON'T HAVE. BUT YOUR SON WILL ONLY SUFFER UNLESS YOUR MAN GETS SOME SERIOUS HELP. PLEASE DO NOT CONTINUE TO PUT YOUR CHILD IN HARM'S WAY, KEEP HIM OUT OF THAT UNSTABLE HOUSEHOLD. YOU CAN'T GO BACK AND CHANGE YOUR MAN'S CHILDHOOD, BUT YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR SON'S CHILDHOOD, BY MAKING SURE HE IS LOVED AND RAISED IN THE MOST POSITIVE ENVIRONMENT YOU CAN GIVE HIM. SAVE YOURSELF AND YOUR CHILD.
- If he will not leave the dangerous situation atleast for yalls child, babygurl you need to do what's best for you and your baby and hope e will get it together one day. it's hard because you love him. Although he's obviously going through a lot and probably feels obligated to his dysfuntional family, sit him down and talk to him (no yelling) and let him know that you can't have yourself or your baby in that situation. Let him know you love him deeply and that he could go with you all......or he could not. His decision really. Take care of yourself sweetheart and that life you brought into the world.
Peace