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I'm ashame to admit it, but I'm in love with a married woman. I know it's not right, but one can't decide who captures your heart.

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Continue to follow your heart.
continue to follow ur heart. and don't worry about what everybody say.
Stay true to yourself! I was in the same situation but I had to realized that I need to be loved 100% and a married individual cannot do that for me. You have to think about what love causes you to do sometimes. Sometimes Love means letting someone go and if it is meant to be they will cross your path again. I promise. Sometimes love is only meant to be present so that you can realize that you are capable of loving or being loved. Then you have to think about such questions: Do she love you enough to get a divorce? Is it worth it to be in love with someone who can never really belong to you? Is it worth it to risk a separation from God? (If u are religious)
Yes you can decide who captures your heart. From the very moment you found out that she was married, you should have bid her farewell. She's not a real woman to allow herself to look outside her marraige for a man anyway. Why do people take vows before God and then treat those vows like it's just a scout's honor...that's terrible and judgement day will come for her immoral decisions
if you n love then you in love but you're gonna get sick of her havin to go back to her husband
remember the meaning of following your heart. not just following the beats of your heart but also the beats of the one you're involved with and together what do you as a whole. could you stand it if she said that time was needed to do what she had to do you believe her when she tells you that they are no longer involved with each other physically or would you say that she was lying,but not because that's what you yourself believed but due to what others are telling you. If you can honestly believe her before her 100% commitment to you then you'll have her 200% when it's time for the two of you to be together.
WTF?

You folks are pitiful, for real.

You are actually condoning this person being inlove with a married woman and encouraging him to follow his heart?

WTF?

Suppose a chick came on here talking about she was inlove with a married man AND it was YOUR husband?

See, yall GOT to be young and from broken homes. With the state of the black family in American how DARE yall give this sad ass simp that sick advice?

SMMFH @ yall dumbasses.
I JUST DON'T BELEIVE MY OWN EYES. IF SHE LOVED YOU SHE WOULD LEAVE HIM. IF YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH FOR HER TO SLEEP WITH AND I AM SURE THAT SHE IS SLEEPING WITH YOU, THEN YOU OUGHT TO BE GOOD ENOUGH TO MARRY. DON'T THINK THAT JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN LAY IT DOWN THAT SHE WILL GIVE UP HER MARRIAGE. WHY SHOULD SHE WHEN SHE CAN HAVE HER CAKE AND EAT IT TOO. MAN WAKE UP AND NOT ONLY SMELL THE COFFEE BUT YOU NEED TO DRINK IT. WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND. THAT MY BROTHER IS LAW. CHECK YOUR SELF, AND SIN NO MORE. IT JUST AIN'T RIGHT, I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE. A MAN IN LOVE WILL ALWAYS TRY TO RATIONALIZE WHAT HE KNOWS TO BE WRONG, YOU ARE NO EXCEPTION. BE STRONG UNTIL THE RIGHT LADY COMES ALONG. A SINGLE LADY.
Capture your brain,because it is gone. Forget your heart. When you get it in your head that this is wrong, it will eventually make it to your heart. FREE YOURSELF!
I'M IN A SAME SITUATION. UNHAPPY MARRIED, FOR 6 YEARSIN LOVE WITH ANOTHER MAN, FOR 3. HES STEPPING BACK TO GIVE ME ROOM TO DO WHAT I NEED TO DO, FOR MYSELF, NOT HIM. BUT I SURE HOPE HE'LL BE THERE FOR ME 'CAUSE WE DO LOVE EACH OTHER. THIS I KNOW. PLEASE DON'T BE SO CRITICAL. I NEED COURAGE . WE WERENT LOOKING FOR THIS TO HAPPEN, BUT IT DID.
One can't help WHO they fall in love with, but they can help WHAT they do about it.

As long as you try to remain free of any drama or illicit dealings with her, have your thoughts, dreams and feelings for her, but don't put yourself in a position to be on the receiving end of avoidable heartache.

~ SL ~
And it will be heartache if you stay with this married person. You will only come out the loser.
First off, nobody has the right to judge anyone else because you don't know the situation.

Second, do not make someone your priority whilst you remain their option.
everyone one thinks how beautiful it can be and how wonderful to have to share love .. but are there any kids and family to consider....
There is no excuse or justifible reason to be involved with someone who's married. Nothing good can come out of the situation no matter how much love is being said to have for each other. There can't be any real trust or love. An affair is just sex. No one is going to leave a marriage for the other person. Your being used and when you take a stand and end things she'll just find someone that's willing to play it her way.
Get out and find someone to really love all of you.
I wish people would obey and cherish their vows *rolling eyes*
the heart is merely an organ that YOU CONTROL.....

let this mess go for YOUR OWN WELL BEING

if it is meant to be it will be ONE DAY, allow her to finish that marriage and leave (WITHOUT U BEING INVOLVED)....she dont leave then u know what was what from the get go, PEACE
you need to leave that person alone if it is meant to be it wil happen do not push it she could always go back to her husband
You know what people, I am new to this site & I also have been profoundly in Love with a woman I met in my nursing school class last year. I cannot say enough how many times I felt foolish for doing & saying things to her that would eventually break my heart. We have all recently graduated from nursing school, however, out of sight, out of mind is BS if you are truly & passionately in love. I have never declared to her that I love & want her, but she knows alright. I have been suffering in silence knowing that her loser husband has her and knows not how to appreciate her. Then, I tell myself, hey, it's not your business what goes on in another person's private life and I am trying, though it is very tough, not to make things harder on myself or to make any sudden stupid mistakes that I will regret forever. I askyou guys, if this woman would leave her present husband and was free and uncommited, would it then be ethical and moral as per the laws of God, to ask her out or let her know my true feelings for her? Please, let me know. I love other people's opinions and criticisms!

Antonio
I myself am going through a rough decision, thinking about divorce and yes you have to concider your kids too, not only yourself. I myself have made the choice to leave my husband because of being unhappy, not because I want to be with someone else
I was in love once with a married man and honestly I still am. We both worked together opening up a local shop he gave me his number and things went from there. I was married also at the time and still am. My point that I'm trying to make is that very rarely do the people divorce to be with the other person. Look out for yourself you may think that nobody else will love you the same. They will and probably even more because they don't have a spouse. That other person at the time may give you so much love and understanding and sex like you can not believe, but know that it is wrong. Let them go if it is meant to be you'll meet up again someday. The man I still love and always will love is moving away and I am heartbroken but I know it is for the best. He's a bad addiction that I'm fighting and him moving away is the best thing.
I recently met a women who i was immediately attracted to when we met. We flirted constantly even though we didn't even know each other well. I am involved with a woman currently but things are not exactly perfect, we fight consatntly have difference of opinions on just about everything. Well to get back to my story, she never made reference to the fact that she was married, she had ample opportunites but never mentioned it. It finally came out oneday we were talking and she had told me that she was involved in a car accident. I asked her who was driving, then she akwardly said "my husband"..I was devastated. I was confused, she was coming on to me so strongly that even my female friends stated" she wants you John." She even gets jealous when i talk to other girls.Well to make the story short the flirting continued and atlast i realized i was falling for her. one day we had an argument and i said something that hurt her and i was so upset all weekend. I realized I had feelings for her. I can't stop thinking about her, when i'm at home, out with friends she's all i think about. I decided to test her out by asking her number..she refused. Saying don't call me my husband will be there, She even said she had a dream of me. She keeps flirting, but the moment i mention getting together she shutsdown and becomes all moral on me. I'm so confused I tried to forget her, i truly do,because i don't want to be so pathetic to have feelings for a married woman ..but sadly i am. I even considering changing jobs. I don't know what she wants and why she keeps coming on the me. My brother says she's a tease , just likes attention from men. But why does she act only this way to me? There are plenty of men in the office, younger better looking than myself..but she constantly hits on me..no one else!!!!!! Maybe he's right. I don't know what to do, never thought i'd become such a loser...geez in-love with a married woman how sad. let me know what u think..
Thanks SL, for your kind guidance. Last week I've already started keeping my distance, avoiding lunches with her...its difficult cuz she's still so "in my face", its hard but I'm trying. I started going out to lunch with another woman in the office..very pretty but totally platonic, she's just a good friend. Anyways the married one that I'm in-love with was soooo jealous...messaging me saying" Ooooo who's that girl, is she replacing me?"...I don't know i guess its a long battle but oneday I will look back and laugh at how stupid I was....I hope I can do it....I just hope I can get over my crush soon. I welcome all your comments and suggestions ..thx.
"John"

It's the thrill of the chase for the woman who has your heart. She likes the attention that you're showering on her and she has her marriage as a
"safety net" to keep HER from crossing the line, with no regard to what it's doing to you.

If you don't believe that you can "shake" your feelings for her, it may be in YOUR best interest to seek employment elsewhere than to continue suffering in silence.

However, she is dead wrong to be sending you mixed signals and then retreating when you're ready to press forward on a different level.

YOUR thoughts need to be on yourself now and what will help you through this. Best wishes. :)

~ SL ~
Well Im in a similar situation as well Im inlove with a married man, he is also inlove with me and told his wife about it. She has told him he can have no contact with me whatsoever. I never tried contacting him even though he still has my heart. Well I got the call this week that things werent looking good on his end he couldnt get me out of his head and they are now seperating. He and I havent seen each other in 2 months and havent spoken till this week. Be patient if its ment to be it will happen you cant choose who your heart decides to love all you know is its there. I am now a firm beleiver if you love someone let it go if it comes back its ment to be! I stepped away even though it hurt to give them a chance to work on their marriage I had to be out of the picture he had to make that decision on his own and figure out what was going to make him happy.

~TW~
No matter what anyone says, it certainly is tough having a crush and knowing that she's far within the reach of obtaining. I'm 26 and I've fallen in love with a married co-worker who's turning 43 this month. Maybe it's merely an infatuation, regardless, I can't help falling in love with her more and more as days go by. She certainly examplifies what I desire in a woman. Maybe if I didn't have to see her on a daily basis, my true feelings for her would arise. But what if I truly feel as though she's "the one"? She has everything to lose & I don't want her to take such a great risk. I know that I want her now, but if I think of the future, things aren't as clear. I know I shouldn't, so I'm keeping myself restrained. For now, I enjoy having her in my life, so until my crush fades away, I'll settle with the way she brightens up my days & nights. Only if I was born 20 years earlier... Only if she had been born 20 years later... Only if...
How can one know if it is love or infatuation or maybe the excitement of an affair. Wonderin
i feel for you bro, i know the feeling. All i can say that i hope in time these feelings will pass. For me i'm trying to keep my distance, not spending as much time with her. So far its not doing much cuz i miss her, but its like any bad habit, it will take time. good luck

John
I've been "dating" a married woman for over a year and a half....I left my wife for her. I honestly beleived she would do the same, but hasn't. She blames most of it on her 6 year old son. She tells me that she hasn't slept with her husband since she has been with me....I beleive her (I know people, but I really do beleive her). I cry myself to sleep just about every night. I am completely miserable except for the times I "see" her. And as soon as I watch her leave, my heart breaks - every time. I love her so much, it hurts. I've given her opportunities to break it off....I've completely severed communication with her, but SHE always comes back to me and I am not strong enough to say no. I would urge anyone to NOT GET INVOLVED with a married person - it is the worst pain you will ever feel. But, if you are already in the situation, I'm not sure what to tell you.....People tell me to let her go....but I can't.
Falconer From California, feels this,~

Two songs and opinions from the heart
From the married Guys perspective
"Hey Joe"comes to mind.
When the husband finds out. And she gets him arrested after he beats the squids face in.
A restraining ordered ensues, and then theres eviction and job loss due to county hotel stay .
After living in the f in woods and she moves into a tent 100 yards away waiving her restraining flag.
yeah hey joe comes to mind once again.!

along with uh several other songs...Like you pick when your Mad really bark at the moon mad.
uh, her and bobby didin't know I found out,"do ya know what I mean"?
etc,etc,how about hold on loosely but don't let go? sure agreed with the guy up top^ who Like me holds marriage vows in higher esteem, than these down with opp punks,you know the ones with a big dump in there pants! sure love to mak'em "waddle scamper.. pull.. um.. up" across the cross walk when the light turns green.and my demon's engine is roarin, (no mine got with her ol' man Older so no theres no connection)
just speaking to the youthful lyricist listners better to not live by some advice.
From the 3rd wheel's perspective the chearing with a married woman guy, cant tell ya any more than he has and had nothing better going for him and weaseled his horny-ness into lies that she didin't here from me.
And Like hitler said if repeted enough it will be believed.

God help my trigger finger fall asleep.

Hope ya'll have sense not to waste 17 years like I did.

Those songs you ignore now, pay better attention to ! they may come back to haunt you.
hold on tight don't trust a "friend" don't help too much the "couch needy." or ride needy.
Or you will be...like me playing the mississippi saxaphone and talkin to mr beam far to often......Late

Falconer
If she gives you any pussy, you will go crazy.
So, stay away.....
Sometimes we want what we cant have and that .. that is already seasoned...
I'm also in love with a married woman. We've known each other for many years, and one day in December she reached out to me, confessed her feelings to me, and I just loved it. At first, I just wanted in her pants, to do the develish deed of placing myself inside her, and knowing this as she lay next to her husband.

Well, soon after (and we only made love once at that time) I began noticing she had consumed my every thought of every day. I know this feeling is love and she is hinting of divorce. I don't know if it's right or wrong...most of you think it is wrong, but who the hell are you? Just a bunch of self righteous no-it-alls who probably never encountered such a situation.

Nevertheless, we are still seeing each other once a week to make love, we talk on the phone all the time and write love letters to each other everyday.

She is no stranger...she is my lover and she is still married to someone else. I am single and I hope for her to be single too.

I cannot help to be in love with her, I just am. People...don't judge it as a crime against God, when not all of us think that way. It is torture of my heart, it aches and aches...then it's all better the day I kiss those perfectly round lips and get lost in those beautiful eyes. I hear bombs and music when we make love. I am in love with a married woman and I love it.
You are just a hopelessly romantic loser!
At least I'm not you
this is finally going to get off my chest. I love a man that is married. I myself have been in an 11 yr relationship, but there has been years of us being on and off, with him cheating on me twice and me cheating on him once. I do love my mate, but more as in a friend. our relationship is just not mature, he is not mature. he is 25, I am 27 and we have been together since we were 15. I am in professional school now, and have met a man that is intelligent, kind, loving, funny, and a good friend. i never intended to fall in love with anyone, but it seems he came after me, giving me his phone number to "cry on his shoulder." I took the bait, and have been hooked since. It has been up and down, sometimes we are so into eachother there is no denying our feelings for one another, and some days I think we just don't know what to do with our feeling for one another. I know somedays I feel completely guilty or want to give my relationship one more try because I feel I owe it to my partner, and I try to push this other man aside to protect my partners feelings, my feelings and this other man's feelings, but with constant contact, fantasies, dreams, as well as, him seeking me out, I am having the toughest time getting over him. it has been almost two years now. we have not had sex, the desire, the intensity, and the comfortability is all there, but we have controlled ourselves. we would be such an interesting, loving and fun couple if we had the chance to be together, but I don't think either one of us has the balls to leave our partners for eachother. its sad really.

are we settling in our current relationships or our we daydreaming on something that we think would be good, but would just turn out disastrously?
I have left my wife and going thru a divorce. The woman I love is also married she tells me she is leaving him but does not know when. Says she loves me cares for me wants to spend the rest of her life with me. I purchased a new home she wants to live there with me wants it to be ours. I tell her to do it then but she says she has to wait for the right time?

It hurts every day and night not to be with her... Then she tells me all this stuff of being together but just does not know when? What do I do? I can;t continue to live like this and I need to walk away but part of me wonders if there is really a true chance of us being together I can't walk away?

She tells me she married him but never loved him or felt the way she does for me for him!!! What do I do?
Ok, ladies and Gentleman. I just googled something and got this page, and I am or was in this situation. I met a woman about 2-1/2 yrs ago. she is a supplier of the company I work with. We spent alot of time getting to know eachother, and somehow, it happeend, We fell in love. Maybe it was bacause her boyfriend gave her no attention, or little, I am not sure, maybe it was that they had dated since highschool ( now they are 26) and have been together 10 yrs. Who know, all I know is we fell in love and I have never felt that "true love" feeling like you see in the movies until now. Anyone seen the movie "the notebook". Isn't that how it's suppose to be?

Well, when we were together, it was. We had battles about her getting married, but in reality, she went through with it, last August. She left me alone, and decided to follow that dream that most women do. After that day she walked down the aisle, I did not talk to her again. I went months without talking to her, IM, or email. On Jan 2, she called me, said it was becasue she saw me at work and didn't say hi, so she wanted to make sure I knew she wasn't being rude. then her tears came, said she hadn't stopped thinking about me for one day. I spent the next fwe weeks thinking this time, she would leave him, but as of yesterday, when I asked her to meet me for a talk, she said she was going to give it another chance with him.

She said he is never home, always working on Race cars, or playing volleyball, or something.. She says that she says to him, what's the point in being married if your never there.. she tells me things like I am different, and she can't stop loving me, and then the next minute she is saying she lovs him, and her family, and his family, and everyone she talks to about how he acts syas, he is just young, he'll treat you better when he gets older? My Friends have all said, let it go, they see how it tears me apart. Yesterday, after she told me she was going to try again with him, I felt like I did last August, like we had this hope and then it was taken away, and now it has again for the second time.

I love her so much, it's hard to imagine not having her in my life, but she chose this and I can't help but feel upset. Ther comes a time when Women or Men have to realize that relationships grow apart, and just becasue you have been with somemone for 5,6 or 10 yrs, doens't mean you should stay together becasue of marriage. Marriage is perfect a tthe time your doing it, most people don;t even know what true love is and the ones that say it doesn't exist, are the ones that have never felt it. Believe in your heart, believe what you want, you rthe only one who truly knows what is needed to be happy. Don;t listen to anyone judge you, or tell you what to do.

I am alone now, she has left me again, I guess that is my fault for allowing her back into my life for the last 3 months. I don;t think her and I will ever see eachother again, I think this time she relaizes he is the safe way for her and she is comfortable. Just remember, its not how many breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. I love her, I need her, but I will never get to be with her. but someone said, I will meet someone else, someone who can afford to love me 100% since I won;t have to share it with another guy..

That is right, If ther eis one thing I know, is the pain does heal, It does get easier, and hopefully I will find someone that I can truly truly, in in love with and in love with me.

Good Luck to all in this forum, Love is hard, but it's worth fighting for.
WE are stille seeing each other she wants to leave him and be with me say she wants to be married to me not him!!! Niether one of us have kids! Says she sees us with children family life together!!! I want to tell her if this is what you want then let's do it! Life is short I want someone who can give me 100%!!! Do I wait around and see if it will or do I take charge of it and tell her if this is what we want then you need to tell him and leave? I want her and she feels the same but I don't want to wait forever!
My two cents...once a covenant is made before God in a marriage, that's it. No going back. For the one who seeks 'love' in a married person, the sad human reality is this: if they are anxious to be with you, think like this, there is no trust in a marriage, so the inevitable will happen to you (it did to me)...Since then, I've locked my own love inside of my heart where no one could tarnish it, and without pun and offense, keep strongly away from married women, separated women, or divorced women. St. Paul said, "to the married I give this ruling, which is not mine but the Lord's: a wife must not separate herself from her husband (if she does, she must either remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband), and the husband must not divorce his wife" (1Cor.7:10-11)

It's ungodly pleasure to go after what was created by God in an attempt to pursue your 'own feelings' ... remember, feelings deceive and eventually go away. The trust created in the union of marriage is everlasting.

I know it's hard, if you care for one, but it's not about you. Look away and store your thoughts in a casket and drop it off into the fiery pits. Don't look back. Because 10 minutes of pleasure will cause you a lifetime of bitterness and heartache. Take it from me...
This feeling is something that seems real and it probably is REAL but you know in your heart it's not
RIGHT and REAL. I've been in a similar situation with someone from my past. I got too close but close enough to see how ugly it all was.

It was all fantasy of should've could've would've but when I peeled away all of the false feelings and the fabulous cover it was cheap and sad. The other person(he) could not measure up to what I had played out in my mind and how could I involve him I was being selfish. I hate that I allowed myself to get that close but in the end I was happy that I looked up close and saw it for what it was.Run fast and don't put the others or yourself through the lust,lies and loss cause you will lose. Honor the wows or make sure you don't help noone else break thiers. God is watching US ALL and we will give an account!!!!
im in the same situation bro, im in love with a merried woman. i dont know why but i love this girl with 5 kids. she is also older than me and i cant let go of her, i think about her all day and all night. sometimes i cant even function right without hearing her voice... man this is like a drug, i wish i can let go of her but i cant. all i have to say is to follow your heart maybe there is a reason for you to be in love with a merried woman, maybe her husband doesnt have it anymore and thats why she also messing with you...
im in the same boat dont know what to do but i know that fack that she dont really love me caz every time when i had a good looking friend she always try to make us look like we just friends! and somtimes she'a chacking ma friend out ... i dont know wherether its normal to all female's please help me ? im 28 year old ,singal, she's 25 married for 10 years. we were just a friends for 2 years and she start visiting me at all the time,some how we end up having sex and we still do she wanna to leave her hubby but she's too scard of leaving him coz of her family and friends... so what do i have to do ? im not that good looking to find a women plus im very bad in dating.
XTOO
wow, there's a whole host of stuff i could say. And yes, i have recent first hand experience of this crappy situation. I used to be a stickler for saying 'don't go near it' but wham, there i was in the middle of it. She told me all the usual stuff about how unhappy she was and how she'd wished she'd met me first. She love bombed me wth affection and 'love' and then had a baby with him! Boy did that screw me up. I have been doing all i can to get her out of my system but the hurt and humiliation i felt has left its mark. Dudes! Listen up. Unless you get out of that damn triangle, gradually but surely - it will erode your self esteem and self worth. You must know, its low self worth that is feeding this dependency. You have to realise that you are worth more than this. Ask yourself that question, is this all i'm worth?

If someone witholds from you, eventually you will come to resent them. Before long you'll be feeling like some sad lonely unloveable cuckold. Don't go there!

I have to ask the question and i know it sounds like a cliche, but as they say, 'if she'll do it to him, she'll do it to you".
Even if you got together with her, could you really trust her knowing what you know?

Respect yourselves, don't judge others until you've been ensnared like this. Its excruciatingly painful and crazy making.
The heart has a language of its own. Its all about unmet childhood needs a lot of the time.

Break free and build a life worth living. Thats what im trying to do. Good luck

Mark, Manchester, England.
she married him and not you for a reason
Everyone on here who is tell this person to follow his heart is some stupid ass mothefuckers I hope all ya'll get AIDS and die. What the fuck is wrong with ya'll this person is married.
I have been in a relationship with a married woman for over two years. I divorced my wife for her. She has not left. She keeps telling me someday we will be together. She won't committ to me. I love her so much I continue to believe it. In my mind I know it isn't true. My heart won't allow me to realize the truth. If you are in the same situation as me I hope it works for you. Everyone can criticize you. I am with you brother. I hope you can get what I have been dreaming of for over tow years. It would make me happy if someone in the same situation gets what I have been hoping for. Good luck!
I think I also in love with a married woman. I have never had feelings about any woman I have ever met like I do with her. I knew from the moment I met her she was something special. She has been married before and got married for the second time shortky after I met her. I do not know how she feels about me at all.Sometimes I think she could like me but other times I think I am just a joke for her. Even if she wasnt married I'm sure she is way out of my league. I really don't want to have these feeling for her, but I do. I am so confused. It would hurt me just as much to break up her marriage or play a part in that because I am not that sort of person. I have tried for years to fight my feelings for her, but I cant. I have had other relationships, I have tried to focus on her bad points but they go out the window as soon as I speak to her. I feel her current husband doesnt love her as much as I do.

The way he treats her (she's told me) I could never do.

She is 5 years older than me and a lot more experienced. I am so confused I really wish I hadnt met her. Them way I am with her, surely she must have some idea of how I feel. Even if she wasnt married I would find it difficult to tell her how her feel. I know I musnt act on theses emotions but it doesnt stop me feeling the way I do. She works next door to me to me and I see her at least once a week. Whenever she is around she talks to me, tells me about her family life and her works, I am constantly offering to do things for her because it makes me feel good to see her happy. Of course I dont expect anything in return. I will give everything to anyone who has my heart, I am the same with my family. People looking from the outside will probably see that she is just taking advantage of me. Which probably hurts me more than love or rejection or anything. If she is taking advantage of me then it just shows how little she respects as just as a person, never mind anything else.

I have tried to move on with other girls but I end up comparing them to her and my relationships never last. sometimes I think it would be better to tell her how I feel so she can reject me. Then I can move on. But she's slowly chipping away at my heart, wether she knows it or not I really don't know.
I am so confused I don't know what to do. I want her so much, but I dont because I know it'd mean breaking up a family. I try to distance myself from her but she always comes to me and pushes for attention. I really don't know what I've done to deserve this. I'm in love but I cant and don't want to act on this.

I know she doesnt want me, she probably doesnt like me much as a person, but I still cant stop how I feel.

My emotions are so confused as you people can probably tell. i KNOW I HAVE TO WALK AWAY BUT IT MEANS WALKING AWAY FROM MY JOB AND THEN PROBABLY MY HOME. WOULD IT BE BEST FOR ME TO TELL HER HOW I FEEL SO SHE CAN REJECT ME? THEN I CAN MOVE ON. AT THE MOMENT SHE STILL GIVES ME THAT GLIMMER OF HOPE. AGAIN I KNOW I AM ONLY BEING USED BUT I THINK TO MYSELF THAT I WOULD NEVER USE SOMEONE LIKE THAT SO WHY SHOULD SHE. TO ALL YOU PEOPLE WHO JUDGE (THROUGH GOD OR WOTEVER) YOU SHOULD GIVE THANKS THAT YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN IN A SITUATION LIKE THIS.LIFE IS NOT BLACK AND WHITE.

WHEN PEOPLE TALK ABOUT THIER HEART AS IN LOVE ITS IS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE ORGAN BUT AN EMOTIONAL STATE. IT EFFECTS YOUR WHOLE BODY, AND ITS JUST HAPPENS THAT THE HEART IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT PARTS OF YOUR BODY, SO ITS IS LOGICAL THAT YOU WILL FEEL THE PAIN THERE FIRST
I am witth a man that I feel in love with, and came to find out that he was with a married women for 10 years before we got together.

I couldnt undrstand and dont think I will ever understand how anyone can be with a married women for that amount of time (10 years) it makes me sick I can not see how it is normal for people to say that they are in love with a married women, how does someone sleep at night knowing that they are at home having sex with there husband/wife does that not bother you....and how does one get played for so many years 10 years is a long time, if the married person you are with really loved the man she is having an affair with why is she still with her husband? why is she not with the man that she claims to be so in love with? why does a women say that she is going to leave the marriage she is in for another man and after 10 years she is still married but still calling my boyfriend to ask him if he still wants to have fun...

All Im saying is be smart..... chances are they will never leave there husband to be with you, and when you are smart enough to see that be carefull to never let your new girfriend find out that you were with a married women because her, it effects your new girlfriend and she will always wonder if that married women calls for a good time if you will take her up on her offer, and I think it is normal to feel that way if a man has no problems being with a married women what would stop him from cheating on his own wife/girlfriend.

You know I ask myself everyday should I stay with my boyfriend or should I forget about what I know since it happend before me do I believe him when he tells me that it is me he loves now even though she called a couple of weeks ago and he didnt tell me about it, and I had to find out on my own.... please remember that not only are you guys playing with your hearts you will play with the hearts of inasint people, you know every day I think of calling that poor husband of hers and letting him now that his wife is still calling my boyfriend and so that she gets a taste of her own shit
And another thing, i've come to find that just because you are married doesn't mean you can't have some SERIOUS feelings for someone else. It can be incredibly difficult to fend off. Especially when it's mutual. For me, I can't help but think I need to live life to the fullest.
I'm a young married woman for over 3 years and quite smitten with a co-worker. He's leaving the job though, after a few months. Everyone leaves this job though. He's such a jerk though. I feel like he reeled me in and then dropped me. I should just get over it, I know. But I wish we could both just be honest about everything. I don't want to be the only vulnerable one though. God I've always been the one to let others down. I can't believe i'm such an ass. There's some definate anger and frustration here, wishing there could be some clarity in the situation.
It's interesting I came upon this site too because I have feelings for someone who is married. Not because I have any intention of following through as I am a firm believer that if someone is unhappy in a marriage or relationship they need to address that issue first and foremost. Marriage should mean something or why bother.

I am not religious and I don't believe in the wrath of God or evil, or some such holier than thou crap. I do believe that the human heart and psyche is a very complex and delicate thing. I have spent years trying to convince myself that we can and do control who we choose to fall in love with.. and then ... Boom! I find myself at that door and pretty much have to stand by my own convictions, through incredible personal angst and confusion. If there is meaning and purpose, and god exists at all...than perhaps love is more than just need and want and desire..

if we cannot in fact choose who we fall in love with and perhaps something else has a hand in it, well then if something else has a hand then it stands to reason that there may be a God or something larger than ourselves inspiring or opening up our hearts.

If so I cannot accept that our hearts are opened up to ruin other's lives. and trust me, inevitably lives will be ruined. If people are "meant" to be with each other than they should step back and be patient and allow it to unfold naturally without pushing. If we make our own choices and choose who we fall for.. than all of us who have fell for someone who is somehow unattainable should do some serious work on ourselves and try to understand this choice we made.. or we will find ourselves someday alone and very unhappy.

We believe what we want to believe... see what we want to see...it is human nature. Claiming that we do not choose who we fall in love with is very likely a convenient excuse to take no responsibility for the consequences. But people who use profanity and react to these posts with anger or disgust should also probably take a closer look at their own situations.

Oct 2, 2007
i am married but i cant stop thinking about having sex with other women
if you live in wv and are amarried please help
I have read most of the commits on this page. I say never judge a man until you have walked a mile in his shoes.I am one who has not once but twice fallin in love with a married woman. The first never left her husband and it took more than 3 years to get over but I did and told myself it would never happen again.

The woman I am involved with now has had a terible abusive mariage and I have witnessed first hand some of his actions. She is terrified that if she does leave him that he will hunt her or me down or possibly both of us.I think everything happens for a reason and dont believe that God meant for a woman to stay where she is beaten and mistreated sexually, mentantlly and psyhically no matter what anyones religion teaches about marriage.No woman should have to decide to leave and maybe be killed or to stay and be abused.

But I also believe the saying ..if you love something set it free. I am totally deeply in love with this woman and cant bring myself to set her free. Gods teaching says "Judge not lest ye be judged". Every situation is different so how can we be the one who comdems???Isnt that Gods job on the final Judgement day?

Nov 12, 2007
ok.. leave all these and live happily. no emotions.. think of life's needs and values and not your desires
Right now I too am hopelessly in love with a married woman. I too am married. We are both in failing marriages though

it is an awful position to be in none the less. I pray that we will either be together or that I will be cured of my love for her.

Only time will tell

Nov 17, 2007
Ok here goes my story,

This is the first time i've put it out there for anyone to read/know about. I have been seeing a married man (married for 15 yrs and has two kids (13 and 16yrs)) for about 2 yrs, we have been intimate for 1 yr. Oh did I mention that he is twice my age! currently i have a daughter (4 yrs old) with a man that i have been with for about 6 yrs. I have been reading some of the entries and I have the same deep emotions as those of you in similar situations.

I care for this man so much. i am just really confused and so is he on how are relationship is going to be in the future. Personally, i am ready to move on to living a life with him but i don't think he is. We spend alot of time with each other, more so then we spend with our families. He claims that he loves me, and that I am a wonderful addition to his life. but everytime I asked him about his situation with his wife he skirts around the issue~ obviously he is confused and probably doesn't want to leave her nor does he have the courage to.

Over the course of 2 yrs I became pregnant with his child and we made a mutual agreement to abort the child, but now I am regretting it. I realize now that it was a blessing. He feels that staying married with his wife is needed for the kids, even though he is cheating on the side. What happens when the kids are out of the house? Well maybe not so, his son is autistic. i dont think he realizes that I to have a child and I need to provide a life for her as well.

i guess I am looking for advice on how to handle my situation. i feel that I am like a worm dangling on a hook or he is stringing me along until he doesn't need me anymore. But when I say this to him, he tells me that I am wrong. I went a while without speaking to him (3 months) because he wasn't treating me like I think I should be treated, and he claims he went nuts without me.

I am constantly getting mixed signals and i don't know what to do? Go mad? Please can someone give me advice? ASAP

Nov 15, 2007
in my prespective we are just expressing ourself being on top of the problem. why not dwell it properly. well what is marriage? a spritual bond? or just a social institution? most of the people love to define it with the spritual dimension.

how come the so called spritually connected woman manages to sleep with someone else in just a matter of time? there are lots of dependent and independent variables that plays the vital role on this marriage.

the basic human personality is dynamic that means it keeps on changing. needs, demands, ambition. state of mind, love, affection and other hidden elusive variables keeps on changing.

i loved a married woman as well. i told her we should forget eachother thinking it as a dream. we should let eachother go with the flow of the time rather than hanging out. she asked me to stand on her side whatever be the situation. tecnically, what i comprehended is she wants to play a game but dont know how it gonna end.

i asked her is it a game for u? she said no. we moved along. started to live together, made dreams and after 2 years of cohabiting she dare to accuse me as her marriage wrecker. i ve not seen her since a month. the allegation came through text. i am just waiting for her to knock my door. i dont know how i will react. its really helerious. i ve monitored my stress level since the begining of this crisis dn found funny. in those 2 years time we never argued on anything. it was like a perfect world. love, respect, understanding, social life everything was just perfect. but allegation.... i dont know how should i take it. just waiting for her because i dont want to leave the situation unresolved. if she mean it then fine i will acknowledge her.

torpey

Jan 9, 2008
You can't decide who you love. You just have to decide if you will let it run your life. Will you be happy seeing her with her husband, or trying to put pressure on their commitment? Or is it an alternative relationship and something you can be comfortable with?

Everyone has different answers. For me, duty to my family won over my heart.
I too have very strong feelings for a married woman at my work. I know that nothing will happen and I don't wish for her marriage to end or anything like that. I just wish I knew her feelings for me. I don't know whether you can or can't control your feelings for someone. In my opinion the best way to get over someone is time apart but its kind of hard when you work with this person or see this person on a daily basis.
All you should do is express your feelings honestly and then leave it.
maybe I can top this. I am dating a man going thru a divorce. Little did I know that he was falling for a married co-worker that just got pregnant. He claims that they are friends, but she is texting him constantly, stupid little notes. Nothing of importance. And she is 20+ years younger. Laughable, isn't it.
LISTEN CLOSELY: I am in the same situation. She is married and unhappy with two kids. Take it from me stop all communication and set her free. If she truley loves you she will divorce him fix her issues and then find you. I was in this relationship for over 6 months and everyday was an emotional nightmare. GET OUT NOW WHILE YOU CAN
Please guide I get mix signals from an married women I would I know what she want from me.
I too am in crazy in love with a maried woman. She is 10 years younger. I have been attempting to break it off now for weeks. I usually am able to follow through on decisions. This one is based on logic. Feelings get too strong for me to follow through. Now here is the crazy part. I will be divorced in 3 more months. I have my choice of several beautifull single woman. I am turned inside out out by the married woman. What will happen? It is tough. The absences are terrible. I love her dearly.
marriage is so flippin' overrated!
5 Posts up I said I worked with a married woman and I had feelings for her and wished I knew her feelings. Accidentally I kinda let my feelings show a little bit and did it ever hurt to hear that I made her sick with the thought of being together. Like I said I wasn't looking for anything just wanted to know her feelings. I wish I never knew. We got along so well at work and basically she told me to stay away. I think losing her as a friend hurts more.

Life Hurts.

Nov 22, 2008
in my prespective we are just expressing ourself being on top of the problem. why not dwell it properly. well what is marriage? a spritual bond? or just a social institution? most of the people love to define it with the spritual dimension.

how come the so called spritually connected woman manages to sleep with someone else in just a matter of time? there are lots of dependent and independent variables that plays the vital role on this marriage.

the basic human personality is dynamic that means it keeps on changing. needs, demands, ambition. state of mind, love, affection and other hidden elusive variables keeps on changing.

i loved a married woman as well. i told her we should forget eachother thinking it as a dream. we should let eachother go with the flow of the time rather than hanging out. she asked me to stand on her side whatever be the situation. tecnically, what i comprehended is she wants to play a game but dont know how it gonna end.

i asked her is it a game for u? she said no. we moved along. started to live together, made dreams and after 2 years of cohabiting she dare to accuse me as her marriage wrecker. i ve not seen her since a month. the allegation came through text. i am just waiting for her to knock my door. i dont know how i will react. its really helerious. i ve monitored my stress level since the begining of this crisis dn found funny. in those 2 years time we never argued on anything. it was like a perfect world. love, respect, understanding, social life everything was just perfect. but allegation.... i dont know how should i take it. just waiting for her because i dont want to leave the situation unresolved. if she mean it then fine i will acknowledge her.

Dec 18, 2008
I'm 23 years old and have been involved with a married woman for about a year now. Shes 31 and her husband is in the army and currently deployed to Iraq. We met through a friend that would come over and stay the weekends at my place. We hit it off right Away, We became really good friends in no time. She started coming down for the weekends also.

My friend was with one of my roommates so we would spend a lot of time with each other. Our connection started to grow and she eventually started sleeping in my bed, nothing sexual. We became inseperable. At first to my better judgement and beliefs I would pull out of any situation leading to sex, we would literally be in bed naked cuddling and kissing and I would jump out of the bed saying I couldn’t do it because she was married. I did that like three times. Eventually we just couldn’t contain each other. I thought I could just enjoy the moment and move on but she started having strong feelings for me and then eventually I started having strong feelings for her. That’s when she started telling me about all the problems with her husband.

How she didn’t have feelings for him anymore and that he puts his career before his family. The big one was when she told me the only reason she married him was because he got her pregnant and he admittedly told her he planned to get her pregnant so they would end up together, she married him thinking it was the best thing to do for the baby. I was just being myself and nothing more and she would break down crying saying nobody had ever treated her like me and made her feel the way I did, I started feeling the same way about her. She has told me numerous times that all I have to do is ask and she would leave her husband for me. I would always say I'm just not ready for that, that I needed some time.

I have tried meeting women my age but they just don’t do it for me and theres just something about a woman who you can talk to about anything for hours everyday. I do honestly love her. Now her husband is close to coming home and I'm tore up because I don’t know what to do. I really do see myself ending up with her and being happy.

FDR

Nov 24, 2008
I recently met a women who i was immediately attracted to when we met. We flirted constantly even though we didn't even know each other well. I am involved with a woman currently but things are not exactly perfect, we fight consatntly have difference of opinions on just about everything. Well to get back to my story, she never made reference to the fact that she was married, she had ample opportunites but never mentioned it. It finally came out oneday we were talking and she had told me that she was involved in a car accident. I asked her who was driving, then she akwardly said "my husband"..I was devastated. I was confused, she was coming on to me so strongly that even my female friends stated" she wants you John." She even gets jealous when i talk to other girls.Well to make the story short the flirting continued and atlast i realized i was falling for her. one day we had an argument and i said something that hurt her and i was so upset all weekend. I realized I had feelings for her. I can't stop thinking about her, when i'm at home, out with friends she's all i think about. I decided to test her out by asking her number..she refused. Saying don't call me my husband will be there, She even said she had a dream of me. She keeps flirting, but the moment i mention getting together she shutsdown and becomes all moral on me. I'm so confused I tried to forget her, i truly do,because i don't want to be so pathetic to have feelings for a married woman ..but sadly i am. I even considering changing jobs. I don't know what she wants and why she keeps coming on the me. My brother says she's a tease , just likes attention from men. But why does she act only this way to me? There are plenty of men in the office, younger better looking than myself..but she constantly hits on me..no one else!!!!!! Maybe he's right. I don't know what to do, never thought i'd become such a loser...geez in-love with a married woman how sad. let me know what u think..

Dec 18, 2008
Falconer From California, feels this,~

Two songs and opinions from the heart
From the married Guys perspective
"Hey Joe"comes to mind.
When the husband finds out. And she gets him arrested after he beats the squids face in.
A restraining ordered ensues, and then theres eviction and job loss due to county hotel stay .
After living in the f in woods and she moves into a tent 100 yards away waiving her restraining flag.
yeah hey joe comes to mind once again.!

along with uh several other songs...Like you pick when your Mad really bark at the moon mad.
uh, her and bobby didin't know I found out,"do ya know what I mean"?
etc,etc,how about hold on loosely but don't let go? sure agreed with the guy up top^ who Like me holds marriage vows in higher esteem, than these down with opp punks,you know the ones with a big dump in there pants! sure love to mak'em "waddle scamper.. pull.. um.. up" across the cross walk when the light turns green.and my demon's engine is roarin, (no mine got with her ol' man Older so no theres no connection)
just speaking to the youthful lyricist listners better to not live by some advice.
From the 3rd wheel's perspective the chearing with a married woman guy, cant tell ya any more than he has and had nothing better going for him and weaseled his horny-ness into lies that she didin't here from me.
And Like hitler said if repeted enough it will be believed.

God help my trigger finger fall asleep.

Hope ya'll have sense not to waste 17 years like I did.

Those songs you ignore now, pay better attention to ! they may come back to haunt you.
hold on tight don't trust a "friend" don't help too much the "couch needy." or ride needy.
Or you will be...like me playing the mississippi saxaphone and talkin to mr beam far to often......Late

Dec 18, 2008
Ok, ladies and Gentleman. I just googled something and got this page, and I am or was in this situation. I met a woman about 2-1/2 yrs ago. she is a supplier of the company I work with. We spent alot of time getting to know eachother, and somehow, it happeend, We fell in love. Maybe it was bacause her boyfriend gave her no attention, or little, I am not sure, maybe it was that they had dated since highschool ( now they are 26) and have been together 10 yrs. Who know, all I know is we fell in love and I have never felt that "true love" feeling like you see in the movies until now. Anyone seen the movie "the notebook". Isn't that how it's suppose to be?

Well, when we were together, it was. We had battles about her getting married, but in reality, she went through with it, last August. She left me alone, and decided to follow that dream that most women do. After that day she walked down the aisle, I did not talk to her again. I went months without talking to her, IM, or email. On Jan 2, she called me, said it was becasue she saw me at work and didn't say hi, so she wanted to make sure I knew she wasn't being rude. then her tears came, said she hadn't stopped thinking about me for one day. I spent the next fwe weeks thinking this time, she would leave him, but as of yesterday, when I asked her to meet me for a talk, she said she was going to give it another chance with him.

She said he is never home, always working on Race cars, or playing volleyball, or something.. She says that she says to him, what's the point in being married if your never there.. she tells me things like I am different, and she can't stop loving me, and then the next minute she is saying she lovs him, and her family, and his family, and everyone she talks to about how he acts syas, he is just young, he'll treat you better when he gets older? My Friends have all said, let it go, they see how it tears me apart. Yesterday, after she told me she was going to try again with him, I felt like I did last August, like we had this hope and then it was taken away, and now it has again for the second time.

I love her so much, it's hard to imagine not having her in my life, but she chose this and I can't help but feel upset. Ther comes a time when Women or Men have to realize that relationships grow apart, and just becasue you have been with somemone for 5,6 or 10 yrs, doens't mean you should stay together becasue of marriage. Marriage is perfect a tthe time your doing it, most people don;t even know what true love is and the ones that say it doesn't exist, are the ones that have never felt it. Believe in your heart, believe what you want, you rthe only one who truly knows what is needed to be happy. Don;t listen to anyone judge you, or tell you what to do.

I am alone now, she has left me again, I guess that is my fault for allowing her back into my life for the last 3 months. I don;t think her and I will ever see eachother again, I think this time she relaizes he is the safe way for her and she is comfortable. Just remember, its not how many breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. I love her, I need her, but I will never get to be with her. but someone said, I will meet someone else, someone who can afford to love me 100% since I won;t have to share it with another guy..

That is right, If ther eis one thing I know, is the pain does heal, It does get easier, and hopefully I will find someone that I can truly truly, in in love with and in love with me.

Good Luck to all in this forum, Love is hard, but it's worth fighting for.

Dec 18, 2008
Don't do anything with her, unless you are SURE she feels the same way. How cruel would it be to try to steal another man's wife.
If she is married you can not touch her or move on that situation. They are married you are not. Your jealous of what they have. She is only the person that she is because she is married and likewise for him. If you love this woman leave her alone. It will not be the same for the two of you. Find someone that creates that magic for the two of you.
ok, damn it man! i didnt think i would do this but here it goes, I am in love with a married woman. we dated in high school and then she married REALLY young... anyways we found each other online then ran into each other and although we tried to keep civil and innocent and stay friends there was no denying the feelings were there. not to mention the fact that he is an abusive controlling pos. well one thing led to another we met for lunch a few times just talked and the next thing ya know i cant stop thinkin bout her she cant stop thinkin bout me she is gettin papers ready for divorce and awway we go... we have not commited adultery in the purest sense but we have spent the day just cuddling... right now we are at the point where she is focused really hard on getting through school and getting things set up for her own independence... she made it clear that she wanted a divorce before me and that finding me again just helped to get her motivated there are kids involved and she is a strong god fearing woman so the whole thing has been really effed up ya know? i just know that when the time comes we will make it together ok i think i said what i needed to say thanks folks!
Haha !! So many rationailsations here. I am married ..its good.2 kids..fanatastic.Nicest smiling fellow youd meet. I think you are missing the point.Love is part lust ,part commitment. Recently I have met a lady who I am terribly attracted to at work and I have thought about her more than I should . See I am no different to any of you but take note that I find this woman extremely attractive. She is married and by our conversations I know that we have great chemistry. I too genuinely like this lady as a person and she is gorgeous. To say you love someone you have to respect them.You want them to be safe,flourish and have a great life. With that in mind you can put reality into perspective and realise that the most important thing in life is what is real to you..your wonfderful wife,your lovely kids..Yes I love my wife for the fantastic years she has given me and I have the power to put this hormonal attraction to this other terrific woman in its place. I dont need the sex..I already have the best sex. I dont need to have 2 woman in my life and as a caring person I continue my association with the other lady,enjoying interaction without having to say that she is special in her own way.
In my soul I feel happy that she goes home to her husband/kids and is hopefully wrapped in a blanket of warmth/love that helps her feel like the family woman I have grown to like.

You can be dedicated to your family and wife wholehearedly and care for another woman provided you realise its just an attraction and that you have no right to destroy her life or yours if you are a good person . If you truly care about someone you will never wish them harm. Admire them,enjoy your feelings but remember who you truly love and what is truly important. Peace be to you and your loved ones.
Ive known this married woman at my workplace for 3 years now. But lately ive been spending more time talking with her. Ive always found her attractive. But lately i only realised i had a problem over christmas as i did not see her much and started missing her. When i spend time with her i could stay there forever and listen all day to her i felt so at ease and happy. I dont know if she is happy with her marrage or not , but then again i tell myself i should not even be thinking about that and its not my business anyhow. Im not sure if she feels anything for me. Ive must have been having strong feelings for her for along time but never realised it until i was apart from her. Ive been trying to convince myself im a sicko as i dont want these feelings to happen. But i cant help it. So lately i am telling myself she has a plague and need to stay away to avoid these feelings. i try to avoid her at all costs and never make eye contact even though it hurts me to do so. I must have seemed ignorant to her on a number of accassions but i dont know what else to do. I wish i could go to my GP and get a tablet to stop these feelings. There is another women at work who is alot younger and single who definatley likes me but i not interested. Even now while writing this i am missing this married women and it hurts. When i see her the weather can be the dullest depressing day but she is like the sun to me when i see her. Lately i can sense she started to ignore me as i been avoiding her, i feel so stupid. Ive been considering changing jobs so ill never see her again even though it would hurt, but time heels. My job is ok and i like the people there. Am i normal to feel like this and any comments and advice on this stuation would be apprieciated thankyou.
its kinda funny to see a guy hurting over a woman, usually its the other way around :)
hey guys..i have been in a relationship with this married woman for about one year now..At some point,the husband found out what was hapenning and he confronted me..The lady and i decided to stop this.But we really find it hard to stop coz we work togerther..whevener we get a chance,we end up having sex..though we know we are not together anymore...We also work together and this makes it even harder..whats the best thing to do here..thanks guys..
I am a 30 year old man who is still (and more) in love with a woman who I have been having an affair with for the past 5 years... I have been reading blogs and responses all to no avail to try to get past her. We started hot and heavy, intimate and all (she was married 12 years at that point - 17 now). She tells me that she never even looked at another man other than her husband until me.

She moved FAR away after knowing her for a few months (8-10) and we have continued to have contact...however, at one point we did stop talking for a few months - but we have always found our ways back to each other :(. She is still married...

I recently went and saw her, looking more for closure than anything else. I hadn't seen her in over 4 years. She called me prior to my visit to tell me that we couldn't "do anything". We didn't have sex, though we did kiss and tell each other we love each other very much. She is religious (as am I)and has huge conflicts with being involved at all and recently (after I returned home) told me that we should just be friends because she can't offer anything else. My life is in shambles, I am totally devistated, because in my 30 years I have never met anyone I would consider my soulmate, yet that's whatI call her... I've never met anyone that I would die for (except her) and I say that with such peace that it's scary.

I know she is married but I would be happy if she left her husband for me and that kills me and is NOT how I was raised or what I believe in, yet it's what I want more than anything in this world... What do I do? How do I get her out of my mind? How do you stop loving someone that you are so connected with that you can't breath at the thought of her? ...I'm looking at jobs in her area so I can be closer to her (after 5 years)...I'm ready to be with her, to take a chance to be with her...anything! She says she loves me but what if she doesn't want that? Help me see what I should do... I was going to go back right way and she asked me not to, because she knows how we feel about each other and it scares her for her family (she has two children also).... God, what do I do?
Love can change when you realize it's not right to be in love with her. There are single women out there, more fish in the sea.
Nope don't do it RUN!!!!
dnt brake up a family and think about the people's lifes ur wrecking its nat just ur feelings that matter here
Move on! Have some respect for her and her husband.
I have met a really wonderful woman who makes me feel like I know I should. She is fun, cute, engaging but unfortunately married. Even worse is that she lives in America and I live in the UK; I met her on a recent business trip. What chance do I give our relationship being successful? Not much of a chance I admit, but I don't care. I am willing to follow it through I will try to visit and make things happen as much as possible because she might be the one that will make me happy for the rest of my life. I am happy to let her decide whether to leave her husband somewhere down the line, there is no hurry, but ultimately I guess that a time will come where I will have to ask her to choose. If I loose to him and her current life I guess I just have to deal with it. It won't be the first and probably won't be the last time that I am unlucky in love. But at least exploring the possibility with her will give me a chance of having her for myself, the other option of walking away guarantees that I won't have her. I can't believe that people are advising people on here to take the second option. If it is a situation between two happy confident people who are at a cross roads at which they need to choose to navigate onto the same path I can't see what the real issue is. The once a cheat always a cheat cry is tired and dull, as is the one about the contract of marriage between the partners and god. Look if two people love each other they try to make it work no matter what the circumstances, be that war, distance or, in my case, marriage. She obviously isn't happy or she wouldn't be into this and I don't want to do this for any reason other than I think I could be happy with her forever. Nothing or no one will come in the way of me trying to fulfill that aspiration. There are no hard and fast rules and no guaranteed happy endings, just an endless array of opportunities that should be grasped and tackled if life is to be fulfilled.
She will NOT leave. did you hear that? SHE WILL NOT LEAVE. Trust me...from expierence. Even if she does this is not someone you want to be with.
It just hurts at the end of the day.

Dec 3, 2009
Well, here Iam writing to this forum, why, maybe it will make me feel a bit better about my situation. At least reading these comments I know iam not the only stupid one who has let cupid fire his arrows and done something that can only be controlled by your heart......well that’s what i say anyway.
Yes Iam in love with a married woman and have been for years, we work together and have always had a good relationship, lots of things in common and talk about doing things as if we were doing them .... Problem we are both married and have kids…..young kids. 9/10 years I have know her, what a waste, i never made a move as she was married when we met. However, this xmas it became to much for me I guess and sat her down at a xmas dinner and told her that I have loved her for years and that if we met before she was married I know we would have been together, I honestly believe this…….. don’t know why I was saying this to her now but I was. Anyway I told her to put me out of my misery and tell me to get lost.......she was happily married right?

Maybe it was the excitement, everyone likes to be told there are stunning and feel wanted, maybe as she has been married for years, …………..may be she likes me too. She wouldn’t leave me after this, we kissed and kissed….and then she left, feeling guilty who knows, drunk who knows but it was there nevertheless. We have met after this, did I mention we work together…yes I know this is bad…. See here twice a week, she only works PT……………what do I do , leave her alone or follow my heart and pursue like a man possessed …. as this is how I feel…
i know exactly how you feel. I've known this girl since i was in the sixth grade. i am 26 years old now and there is not a day goes by that i dont think of her. mind you we talk on the phone at least 4 times a week and see each other at least 2 times a month. Here is the pickle though! we was totally into each other while in highschool and i have been there for her and she for me for almost every drastic, tragic situation any of us ever faced. after highschool i went to the air force and she stayed in new york because she went to college. while i was in the air force she called me every day, wrote me letters every day and we were still best friends. she met someone while i was away and got pregnet by him. they eventually got married and are still together until this day. We still talk and he knows about me and her and our history, but she describes me to him as her best friend. after all i was there before he even met her. i'm sure he does not trust me and is very uncomfortable with the whole situation but he knows that me and her have a history that he cannot come between. when i got out the air force and moved back to new york we would hang out and go to dinner and broadway shows but strictly as friends.

I've tried everything in my power to hold back my feelings for her and i know she tried the same to me. We are both very religious and understand the sanctity of marrige. Now here is where the drama comes. One day she found out her husband cheated on her, she caught him red handed and then the phone calls to me started coming more often. she started hanging out with me almost everyday and she was coming on to me very strongly. I knew it was out of spite and she let her emotions get the best of her. i cant begin to tell you how hard it was for me to hold back my feelings for her when there was nothing i wanted more than to be intimate with this girl. things got a little out of hand one day at my place and we started making out and next thing you know we were both naked ready to confront our urges head on!! so many emotions were in my head and the only thing i could think of was that i was being a homewrecker. even though the home was already wrecked i still did not want to be with her while she was still legally married to someone else. so i stopped everything and she got offended and we did not talk for almost 3 months. then one day she called me and told me she had slept with someone she met at a bar and told her husband about it. i was so jealous that i did not talk to her for another month, purposely avoiding her phone calls because i thought she was a total tramp for having a 1 night stand. then i realized if she wasent with me i knew she was going to find someone else to satsisy her needs.

Now im sitting here kicking myself in the head for not going through with the situation. i still love this girl and i dont think i can be happier with anyone else. every girl i date i compare to her and none of them can meet the bar. she is still married to her husband and they just got an apartment together, why? i do not know considering they both slept with someone else but im not married and i cant understand a married situation. all i know is that we talk now on the telephone almost everyday, and she breaks away from work once in a while to meet up with me. i have tried to avoid meeting her at my place to avoid any situation where we might be alone with a bed next to us. tried is the keyword. i want to be with her and she wants to be with me, she tells me she stays with her husband because of the child and i don;t know what to do. i dont think i can keep these feelings in that much longer and i dont trust myself around her anymore.

when we talk on the phone we are constantly bringing up the topic of sex and other flirty gestures. the only thing i can thiink of is to just completly ignore her but its not that easy. she is my best friend. i've known her since i was 9 years old and i cant picture my life without her. i am stuck and i am begginging to realize that at the end of the day i go to sleep in an empty bed while she goes to sleep with someone right next to her. my advice to you is to stay away, try your best to avoid her because the feeling of being inlove with someone who wraps her arms around another man every night is not a feeling i would wish upon anybody. and that my friend is the truth.
SELFISHNESS!!! ... IS ALL ABOUT IT. This may not be what you all want to hear, but even those of you who ask and wonder 'if this is right or wring?', deep down you well know that it is infact VERY WRONG. If the woman happen to be your own mother, sister, wife and another man doing this to you with her, to your brother or father, what exactly will you feel then? Are you telling me you wouldnt know until it happens and then you will have to find out if its OK or NOT OK; or even if it [feels then] right or wrong? ... Some of you even claimed to be religious, what kind of religion i may not have a clue; but if you happen to follow the Christian Religion [with foundations in the Bible and the God of the bible], then definitely you know its wrong and whats more each one of us will have to give account of our very actions to God himself. We will never and can not escape this fact. Whats more, we reap what we sow, So again there is no escape from CONSEQUENCES OF OUR ACTIONS!!! .... Another point that i would like to make is: We all call ourselves modern [not ancient or outdated, ha?], and what a pity that we ourselves willingly allow our 'modern-self' to deceive us in rationalizing "follow your heart"!!!!! ... What a sound advice is that!!! For sure the 'brain' does the thinking and not the 'heart'. So i trust my thinking ability and not my feelings. Simply because feelings are indeed deceptive, for what you feel may not always be REAL. O yes but the 'bible-of-the=MEDIA+HOLLYWOOD+moreMEDIA' preache on the contrary, and advice to follow your heart. Look all around you, and all what you see is a result of people following their 'hearts'. Follow-your-heart = be 100% IGNORANT
Well... I've vented enough about my situation to friends but it also helps to write it down too. So here is my story. I met this married woman at the gym about four months ago. I didn't think anything about it. I thought it was going to be just another female friend. But this one took me by surprise. I knew it wasn't lust because I didn't view her as a piece of ass nor was I any hurry to sleep with her. The wall that I had built up crumbled effortlessly. The more we saw eachother the more we started to fall for one another. We could look at eachother and sense the feelings. Everything about her made me fall for her. Her kind heart, personality, her laughter and all the things we had in common. She was your typical woman that has been unhappy with her marriage for years due to her cheating husband. Her husband had cheated on her at least three times (that she knew off). She quit looking after the third time. So this woman no longer loves her husband, and of course does not trust him, nor is she attracted to him anymore, plus he is very controling. Everytime we met you could tell that she was very happy being with me. It got to the point that she even said that she was getting scared of her feelings for me. What made it even worst or more powerfull was that we didn't even sleep together at all... we did kiss though alot. Well... her husband found out about us and he quickly put a very short leash on her. He monitored her phone and once again kept track of her where abouts. I did managed to talk to her a couple of times after that. Each time she said that she really missed me, until the last time that I talked with her at work and she basically told me to stop calling. Surprised? ME TOO! I know that she has decided to give it a go one more time with her husband (I didn't like it) but I guess it's for the best. She said that she needed to find out if her marriage was gonna work or not. It is sooo hard to not think about her but I realize that I must step away and give her the space that she needs. Even if I'm frustrated, annoyed and kinda saddened by her decision. I don't know what's gonna happen but I'm back to square one where I'm not planning to be with anybody nor am I looking for anyone.
I have read all of the above and my situation is even more unbelivable...all I know is the common theme is get out while and when you can and dont look back, to look back now you will get a heartbreak unlike anything you have ever experienced and it is true. Also, the only advice thereafter seems to be good luck.....extracting yourself from this situation is indeed proving to be the most difficult task I have ever endured in my life...If I could do it over I would have wished to never have met or persued this married lady....I will need all the support family, friends and God will grant me...flee from all appearances of evil....not sure I can do it, man on man this aint easy Lord.

APRIL 6, 2010
I am in a sexless marriage to a good woman. My wife refuses to perform her "wifely" duties because she doesn't like sex at all. I am too young to be celibate the rest of my life. The old testament allowed divorce for this reason. I am in love with a great woman who enjoys sex. I say you have to follow your heart. To stay with a spouse you no longer love and have sex with is to live as a person already "dead".
I have been in a relationship with a married woman for a year and a half..she left her husband to live with me..times were good and bad..I fell deeply and love right after loosing my daughter in an accident..well I asked her move out 7 months ago..never knowing she would end up with her husband..for mos..we loving while she is still with him..Im destroyed feel like Im being played..she stays with him
Dear Readers,

I'm 22 years old. I've only been married to my husband for a year n a half now. We've got a 9 month old baby boy together. He was just about to join the service when i told him i wasn't in-love with him anymore & that i didn't know what i wanted out of life. Meanwhile, A guy i work with was getting most of my attention. Nothing Physical at the time just flirty. We went on a camp trip together with other people we work with. Nothing happened we even slept in the same tent! We just talked & eventually fell asleep on opposite sides. I can't help but find myself thinking about this other guy 24/7. I dont know if it's because things wth my husband feel boring and unexciting? or if its because i've got real feelings for the guy i work with. I Know i'm young & impressionable but i feel like i've found something in this other guy that i could never have with my husband. I feel like if i just stop hanging out with him and start focusing more on my marriage that 10 years down the road i'm going to find myself incredibly unhappy. Need Advice from people who are older and have been in my situation- please nothing based on religion- don't want to complicate the situation anymore than it already is!
wat the fuck ar u doin wit this bloke for u shead be wit me and u woud never go back ps im john 0871239103 thats for u im not in to playin games tex me i promis u ull not regeart it so til then sweat dreams
you must be a very nyce and sexy horny women som like fock the all night
I am a married woman who is 36 fallen in love with a coworker aged 23. we have had an emotional affair for 2 months but i have had feelings for him for over a year and a half. I got married and now i believe i wsnt in love with my husband as the feelings i felt and feel for this other guy are real and i now know for the first time in my life that i am in love with him and now know what love feels like. When i married my husband i went to numerous amounts of psychologists to work out if i love him. how stupid was that. this guy changed my life and i am crazy bout him. so dont bag these guys who have fallen in love coz even though you have wedding vows if u arent happy it is easy to fall for another. i also believe that if you love someone let them go and if they come back they are yours. I am letting him move on with his life as i am trying to see if my marriage will work and if it doesnt and he is still single we may have a chance but right now i have to do what is right. it hurts not to see or talk to him as he no longer works for me and i think about him all the time but it is the best thing i can do for now. but yes i do love him very much.
You will only end up compromising your honor and intergity, and once they are lost, you can never really recover them. And a broken heart as well.
Lust you can control.
Love, you can not.

What you feel you can do little about IF YOU ARE BEING HONEST with yourself and others/

What you DO about those feelings is a different story.

But as yourself this:

If this married woman acts on the lust or love with you while with her husband, has she not shown you that she lacks fidelity? That doubt is gonna creep up should you two ever be together.

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