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Sent to a friend I'm 20 years old, in college, a black man, and a virgin. I'm a strong believer in Christ and I have strong faith in him. However, I have really strong desires to have sex. Being in college, I have had many opportunities to have sex becaus of how popular I am amoung my peers. I've tried to subdue these urges by doing it myself, but not only did it get old quick, I constantly feel guilty after I've done it. I feel like I've defied God and I'm not good enough for him because I have these strong sexual urges. I don't know if it's just human nature or if I've been contaminated spiritually by how our society glories sex. I'm really trying to wait for marriage because I don't think I'll be able to handle the guilt that would come if I actually had sex out of wedlock. I just don't know how to deal with these sexual urges. Could someone please help.Rating:4.38
Comments
- I know what you are going through. I'm a secondary virgin and as you can see I posted my story on here called 'Confused'. I used to have urges like that to but now after I've done it, I feel bad and I don't want to do it again. I am a strong believer I Christ. You kind of remind me of myself. You just have to keep yo head up. Fight Temptation to the best of your abilities. Stay away from the things that give you those urges. Don't make the same mistakes I've made. ((smile))
- Please wait until you are married. If possible try fasting, as it diminshes the desires. Fortunately, God is very forgiving and merciful. You can repent and seek forgiveness. I will keep you in duas (prayers) that you remain chaste until you marry. You wouldn't want to die in state of sin - suppose you die during the act of fornication.
- Boy, its not that serious...do you think that all the good people in the world that are having sex out of marriage are going to hell? do you believe every word of the bible? do you know that history is writen by man and that the bible is man written to reflect the wishes of men? dont sit there and think that your gonna get struck down for having sex...if you want to try to fight your urges then continue and i wish you the best of luck....and if you find that you wanna have sex with someone you care about then you go ahead and do it. the world is not all black and white full of absolute rights and wrongs. marriage dont change nuthin but ur name anyway. naturally people was made to love and make love. if you do it, always protect urself. trust in yourself brother:-)
- Don't mind the person who said you will not go to hell for disobeying the Creator. He's a devil in the flesh, just looking to invite you to the fire of hell. Just because God is very forgiving, doesn't mean we should purposely seek ways to disobey him. Stay strong and chaste!
- ^^^THANK YOU.
If you believe in God's word - ACCORDING TO THE BIBLE - then yes, premarital sex is a sin.
In this day and age where folks are trying to kill of the "Lord of Lords", it is refreshing to see a young man as yourself sticking to what he believes in. I know that it is difficult because the flesh is a lustful thing but you hold steady. When it's time for you, trust me....you won't regret it! - BTW, "Good people" do go to hell. You can be a good person but you live in sin. If you don't accept and worship the lawd as your savior but you still consider yourself a "good person", that won't mean SHIT when ya burning in hell.
- I myself am a virgin. I also happen to be a black female in my third year of college. The sexual urges can sometimes be hard to resist, but stand strong. You will be held accountable in the long run. Remember you are not alone. :)
- One word and one word only "pray"
- If its something u truly believe in not doing, than don't do it .....
- I belive that u should stick wit christ. Because when ur gone u have to go up in heaven. Even though ur having urges, dont mean u just go out and do it. And find the right girl to. Not no hooker. u want somebody u can marry. and ur popular. so that's not going to be very hard. Be strong and wait. Sorry i cant say the same thing for me. I m thirteen and pergant. because i didnt wait. Be strong. Stick to ur religion.
- Continue to save yourself and pray. Our God is merciful however you do not want to get caught with your pants down-remember he comes quickly!
- I am not a virgin or a religious person and I will tell you that it is best to wait. If you know that you want to wait until marriage you will feel very guilty and weak for giving in so dont do it. Stay strong and focus on other things besides sex. And BTW dont feel guily for thinking about it bcoz you are human right???
- yea i like the suggestion of fasting.......it is a great discipline tool
GOOD LUCK
it aint nutin but da devil trying to wear u down, pray bout it ~ - In today society EVERYTHING is geared to sexually arouse. From selling toothpaste, chewing gum, cars etc. I'm amazed you made it this long. I’m in my early 40's and I was a virgin when I got married at 19. I’m divorced now and I practice abstinence. I do it not only because I believe in God, but I believe in me and doing what’s right for me. You said you have strong faith in God and I believe that. Because you have made it this far. Continue to pray and have faith. Also, if your peers are a part of the issue, perhaps lesson your activities with them and engage more with peers who share the same beliefs as you. I compliment your effort. God will surely bless you and your future wife. On the the comment of sinning and ask forgiveness. Deliberately sin, then beg God for forgiveness. I believe God expect more than that from us and we should be more committed than that. Be blessed.
- I know what your feelin; im 26 and really what to have sex. I never did and im happy im still a virigin. Wow God is with me and he is with you. We just need to just trust in him, and wait on him. Also, we need to be ready for that special person to marry, and not hold ourselves back.
- you want to know the truth of the situation well here it is. people fall in love because they are attracted to each other emotionally phisicaly and spiritually. if you find someone you love and you wnat to have sex with them do not be afraid. because if you really love them and are devoted to them then marriage is just a technicality, its somehting our society preforms on couples for legality purposes and insurance benifites. the moment you realize your are commited to a person then its not like you have to tell god he already knows and having sex is just an aspect of Loving someone.
as to having sex "willy nilly" ive talked to so many people young and old and reguardless of what the bible tells you its seems to be a bad idea. it is often confusing to the people involved it can lead to embarassment, and even disiease. having sex with just anyone is a simple fulfilment of the moment, and can have consequences that are unforseeable.
- Firstly i jus wana say u shd be proud of urself for making it this far. I'm 24, female and still a virgin. Its been difficult at times especially when i really like somebody but it can be done. Jus believe in God and in urself and u'l be able to wait until u get married. If u do it u'l be guilty and it will eat u up. I have nothing against people who have sex b4 marriage,as long as they can live with it. U sound like u wouldnt be able to so i say jus hang in there.Do not be weary in well doing for in due season u shall reap!I'm sure God's watching u n being proud. So stay strong...
- Marriage is not a mere technicality. God intended for individuals to have SEX but within the confines of a MARRIAGE. If that so called person loves you as honestly and deeply as he or she says, that person will marry you and live within the Blessed words of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Sex is to be considered and valued as sacred, despite what the media and society is placing in our faces. I, too, am a virgin at 21 years old. I am waiting until God sends me the man and the marriage to engage in sex. Just remember God does not frown upon sex only sex outside of the marriage (fornication).
- PRAY PRAY PRAY AND KEEP THE FAITH.
- You go my brother. God intended for us to wait. It IS his perfect plan. Think about how proud your future wife, let alone God, will be if you wait. Oftentimes we compromise our relationship with Christ for own on selfish desired or out of peer pressure. Don't compromise any of your beliefs. God honors those who chose to live His way. My God continue to bless you and strengthen you...
BTW...see all of this support and love God is giving you through others...that's His way of saying "you go boy!" Love ya in Christ!!! - hey dont worry man ! i was 22 when i first had sex! and i m black 2 but ever since i been getting non stop sex... comper: to others.
- I'm 21 and still a virgin. You're not alone. Everyone gets sexual urges. It's in our nature to conceive and bare children. That doesn't always mean you should though. I'm not religious but I do believe in god. I never told myself I'd wait till marriage because I think personally that puts too much pressure on me to think that I'm bad if I did happen to have sex. I don't think anyone is evil for having urges. There's nothing wrong in thinking about. If that were the case god would never have made us this way to begin with. Now, it's what you do with those feelings that counts. I suggest doing what I do. Gain a huge amount of hobbies to focus on. For instance, painting, learning a new language, traveling, reading, writing etc. I wish the best of luck and much prayers.
- i wish i had of met my husband when we were both virgins but we had kids with other people b4 we met but i still love him the same as i did when we fell in love
- I'm a 21 year old black male virgin its not hard sometimes, but you got to look at the bigger picture. Once you lose it you become like 80% of all other black people that see nothing wrong with premarital. I mean, if you want do it that's on you, but me when it comes to a female she has be a virgin. Also cause if she not one thats hand me down pussy.
- i respect your problem here. if your god has love in his eyes then he would not want you to have a dilema like this, because that sounds like it sucks. in my opinion its totally not cool to make yourself feel bad for wanting whats natural. so do what your on this earth to do and you'll be forgiven or whatever
- I know what you are going through and I'm also going through the same thing but in jesus name you can defeat that sin of immorality because the devil doesn't want to see you being on God side that is why he is bringing this thoughts of immorality into your brain stay strong and pray more often and I tell you the truth you will overcome that sin and try to avoid all talks of immorality
- Hopefully you will find the woman you absolutely love, you will know this when your heart jumps out of your chest, then let it happen the way nature intended.
- Dont worry my friend. I am sure Jesus wil not jufge you for what you are made for
- Hi,
First of all the only One who can help you is God Himself.
But on second hand, get to know someone you will really like and abstain from sleeping with her. You might just find your wife soon. Don't get me wrong, you wont marry her because you want to have sex with her, you will marry her because God has put her on your path. Once you fall in love with her the urge to do yourself will be gone and also to sleep with her because you will care for her as well.
I hope your issue resolves soon.