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I am 23years old beautiful biggurl but alotof people dont want 2 b with big gurls like me can some one tell me y? is there something wrong with me?Rating:4.86
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- Sister, I don't know what to tell you, other than you have to truly love you. You cannot walk around feeling and looking defeated or being needy (wanting someone to love you). If possible, get your weight under control - it's not healthy and indicates that you truly have no love for self. Anyway, be patient, your knight in shining armor will show up eventually. In the meantime, find some constructive things to keep you busy - gym, educational, spiritual and/or self-improvement lectures/classes, etc. Oh yeah, and stop flaunting your body, you don't want to attract any and everything. A decent man doesn't want his woman walking around 50 - 90% naked!
- It's not a matter of not wanting a big girl or not but it's the type. I myself am a full figured woman who is built very well. It's moreso about confidence. I am a very confident person. I don't need a man to validate me or to make me feel good about myself. I have that alone. It's true that you have to have love for self... If you don't completely love you then why should someone else. You shouldn't need someone else in your life to complete you or make you feel comfortable. I always say, once you're okay with being alone, with not being in a relationship, and cool all by yourself, that's when you're ready for one. It's when you're able to go into the relationship giving not needing. You're able to give love and attention not desperately needing it. I'm not saying it's to that extreme with you but if it is, sweetie you have to love yourself FIRST. I am a PHAT Girl, I changed the acronym to mean Pretty Hot Ass Tender. I believe that I am beautiful inside and out and there is no way you can convince me otherwise.
As for the men, PUHLEEZE, there are men everywhere that want a sexy, sophisitcated, down to earth, intlligent, full figured girl. Trust me, I'm running into them everyday. It's all about how you carry yourself and the type of confidence you exude.
Be sweet. Love Yourself - Please don't let your weight be an issue to you, and think that's the reason why you can't find a man. 9 times out of 10 it's the guy that don't know what he really wants. You can loose all the weight you want, but that doesn't mean that you'll find someone. I look at it like this, if he is for you that man is gonna be with you regardless of your size and how much you weigh. Sit tight sista, and be still.
- thanks everyone for ur comments but for the first writer i have on a shirt and i have much luv 4 myself i am just wondering why guys perfer slim over thick thats all and i dont feel i need to go to the gym i like myself just the way i am. i am a 23 year old mother of 2 i am presently n college i have my hands full i was just wondering!!!!!!
- You should lose some wait u kinda big girl I mean big.
- SISTER SAY YOUR PRAYERSAND GET YOUR HEAD UP. YOUR ARE ALL OF THAT IF YOU THINK THAT YOU ARE. SO A MAN THINKTH SO IS HE. IF YOU THINK YOU ARE ALL OF THAT YOU WILL BE ALL OF THAT. MEN ARE PEOPLE TOO, THEY HAVE INTUITION JUST LIKE YOU. THEY CAN SENSE YOUR INSECURITIES AND WILL OFTER PLAY ON THAT TO MAKE YOU FEEL UNWANTED AND NOT DESIRABLE. BUT PEOPLE WHO DO THAT HAVE BIG PROBLEMS OF THEIR OWN., WHEN YOU ARE OVERWEIGHT YOUR PROBLEM SHOWS. BUT WE ALL DEAL WITH OUR PROBLEMS IN DIFFERENT WAYS. BIG GIRLS HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM WITH MEN AS NORMAL SIZE GIRLS. NORMAL SIZE GIRLS ARE CHEATED ON AND THEY ARE PUT DOWN JUST LIKE BIG GIRLS. BUT ITS THE GIRL BIG OR NORMAL SIZE, WHO STANDS FOR SOMETHING, WHO WILL NOT PUT UP WITH MISTREATMENT. I'M SAYING U DON'T NEED A MAN,U JUST NEED
THE RIGHT MAN. A MAN WHO WILL TREAT YOU WITH DIGNITY AND RESPECT.
BUT FIRST YOU MUST CARRY YOURSELF IN A DIGNIFIED MANNER( ALWAYS BE NEAT AND CLEAN) AND RESPECT YOURSELF. DON'T ALLOW OTHERS TO TALK DOWN TO YOU AND SHOW YOU DISRESPECT. DISTANCE YOURSELF FROM THESE TYPES OF PEOPLE. YOUR GIRLFRIENDS MAYBE YOUR BIGGEST PROBLEMS WITH RUDE COMMENTS SUCH AS "I DON'T SEE WHAT HE SEES IN YOU". SHE IS NOT SUPPOSE TO , BECAUSE SHE IS NOT A MAN.
AS FOR THE PEOPLE LEAVING NASTY COMMENTS, LIKE THE PREVIOUS COMMENT, THEY PROBABLY NEED TO LOSE SOME WEIGHT TOO!
JUST SO YOU KNOW I AM BIG TOO, AND I AIN'T NEVER HAD A PROBLEM GETTING A MAN. IT'S WHAT THEY WANT. (SMILE) - AND YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!!
- Sista,as previously stated by other positive BB sista hold your head up. You are a beautiful Blk sista. Loving onself is the key. Caring yourself in a positive light. When it time for the right Brotha to come along he will. Look at it this way, the brotha's that you feel aren't interested are not the one's you should want to be involved with.. Stay positive my sista your time will come
- I know that u might not care about what i have to say, but im gonna tell u n-e way. I looked at Your picture and i really wished that u could c the same thing that I c. I think u r beautiful. Your weight has nothing 2 do with who u really r. U have 2 think of yourself highly b4 someone else will. Believe me when I say u dont need a man 2 tell u how good u look as long as u look n your mirror everyday and tell yourself that. If we all waited on a man 2 tell us how good we look and mean it, we will be waiting a long time. Just because u have a man 2 tell u that u r sexy and there is no one else like u doesn't mean he not telling someone else the samething. Remember 2 always keep GOD first and stay encouraged and if u need n-e one 2 talk 2 u can always e-mail me at loveariw@yahoo.com i will lend and ear just 4 u. God bless and b safe and remember that u r what u c n yourself. (smile)
"To thine ownself be true"...
You know what? It is going to take YOU projecting what you believe yourself to be, before anyone else is going to "buy into it," too.
SOME of our men have bought into society's perception of what BEAUTY is, without realizing that they are limiting themselves to all of the many possibilities.
Don't get me wrong, I know that it's all about what people want and having a right to go after that, but it's rather shallow to believe that the strength of their relationship and their happiness in it will be any better if she's a little Halle Berry, Janet Jackson type of sister.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all men don't see the same thing at the same time, but in most cases if many of them would use their "third eye," they might not have to find out in the worst of ways that all that glitters ISN'T gold.
I'm a big, gorgeous girl myself and I don't lose not one wink of sleep if a man doesn't seem interested, because no sooner than he has walked away, another has approached me.
Just focus on what you have to offer and what YOU hope to get in a mate and spend less time worrying about those who place a lot of importance on what you look like as opposed to how your beauty, style, and grace complete you and make you attractive.
~ SL ~
- Maybe you just want to hear what you want to hear, but how about a dose of truth. The fact that you see nothing wrong with being overweight says that you probably don't think a whole lot of yourself and this might translate over to the men you want to date. Nobody wants to love someone who does not love themselves. Obesity is not natural, it is a sign of unhealthy living and that is a fact. If you can face up to the fact that you need to take better care of yourself, eat the foods that are better for you and get the exercise your body needs, then you will be on the right path. As long as you keep pretending not to care that you are fat, you will not be happy. Don't mind what Mo'nique says!
- Sister beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you are wondering why thin is in that's he easiest part of your question to answer. the media is controlled by people who don't look like us and have their own idea of what beauty is. We (as a community) have our own standards for beauty but you can't help but get a little caught up in the hype. As for whether or not you need to lose weight for men to find you attractive that is surely not true. What you need to ask yourself is what do you need to do to find yourself attractive? I am not a BBW but I have gained some weight over the years and I am not comfortable in my own skin. That discomfort shows in how I move through the world. When you are truly at peace with where you are you will begin to see the world will open up for you and accept you as you are. Your value is not based in pounds but in presence and when you stop placing so much value in what you are NOT and place more value in what you are you will see that men will respond in kind. Starting to take the absolutely best care of yourself inside and out is not only the best way to attract men to you but it will make a you a better mother to your little blessings and happier person. Remember if you don't demand the best for you from you whay would any one else offer it to you.
Be Good & Be Blessed ~ NM~ - ok-I looked at your picture and honestly-I think you should try to lose some weight-it's not healthy or cute to be overweight-if you did not tell us that you were 23, I would have pegged you at 35. Everyone is not built to be a size 2 but you don't have to be a 22 either. I think once you begin to see changes in your appearance from diet and exercise you will begin to see changes in how you and others view you-and don't say that you don't care what other think...you would not have gotten on this website and asked your question.
Just my 2cents. - Some of you can be so mean. Words do hurt.
- IGNORE THESE NASTY COMMENTS THEY R JUST SMALL PEOPLE WITH SMALL MINDS. U NEED TO LOVE URSELF BEFORE OTHERS CAN LOVE YOU AND AS FOR THE MEN WHO DONT WANT YOU, ITS THEIR LOSS GIRL! X
- I am a Buxom Beauty! My husband is 140lbs and when i met him I was 165lbs over the course of 12years I have gained alot of weight. He is still here and loves every square inch of me. He is happy as long as I am happy. A man wants a woman that is sure of herself, and knows what she wants. Be confident in everything you do, and stop looking for a man, when the time is right God will send you one.
- sistah gurl....the key word that I have read throught out these comments is that you need to love your self...gurl some of us are build the way we are ain't no changing that..trust..I'm 5'9 135lbs ppl call me skinny this crak head that all the time...I can't help it I eat all day long...I even eat my main meal right b-4 bed..hopin' it will put some meat on my bones...But hey lets face it...there are thin ppl that wish they could be thick and vice versa..hell I see a lot of dudes with big chicks and I say damn..big gurls get all the guys...there are times I feel I should be big...naw I'm cool with me....I have two sisters we all range in size and when I tell you them two stay pullin' dudes...my youngest one am startin' to think she somethin' like a pimp..lol she's 22 and wears a 22-24...girlfriend dates some sexy ass brothas I tell you that so size... if they don't like big women then there not for you..not everybody likes skinny girls and not everyone likes big girls either.......Oh and for those of you knockin' comments...stop it's call'd opinion and we are all entitled...
- All I ask is that no matter your size be healthy and if your healthy is big then so be it.
- sweetie always remember that something is wrong with you only if you think somethings wrong and you have control over yourself...don't forget that you, in general, are your worst critique.There is also a line between being at a heathy weight or being overweight. You can have curves but still feel and look good. Look at Monique (the parkers) for example, she is a role modle for real thick thick women...Everybody is built different accept it, it's life.The right man will come along and love you for who you are not for what you look like. Real love is unconditional
- I Just wanted to say that im abig girl myself and i had the same feeling that u did but i met my now best freind and he changed my life by telloing me the buety is in the eye of the beholder sometimes when i still feel bad about myself it helps to just rememeber that qoute .... take care
- I put a post up similar to this one earlier on..
I LOVE BIG GIRLS! But not really coz of all their weight (I'm above that) but coz they have such levels of confidence that supercede all perceptions of size and weight. And the sexiest woman on earth is a confident woman. Can I get an amen my brothas?! But from the photos, I see that you not happy girl, put a smile on your face. That's step one. No brotha is gonna wanna holla atta girl who got a frown now.. - First things first you are unable to find a man not cause your a big girl so stop using that as a lame excuss to your self in order to have someone love you or care for you , you must love your self people are able to sense a strong woman from a weak one so stand up tall love yourself and start feeling good and once you are able to be happy with yourself the right man will come along . so cheer up ....
- i know some guys like the bigger ladies. i knew one guy who would date nothin' but the big girls. he said he liked having more to hold onto. just wait. you'll find a guy that likes you for you. big size and all.
- if u are happy with yourself BE YOURSELF. there r plenty of men who love big woman and one day that special man will find u. jus show your confidence cuz a man loves a confident woman.
- men wanna have sex and if u gotta bangin body they they are going to be more attracted to you physically.....all this crap that everyone is saying about love yourself........i have gone down that line b4 i luv my self but men still dont want me cuz im not sexable (my made up word).......but its true many men dont like big gurls but there are some that do.
- GIRLFRIEND U DONT HAVE ANY ISSUES SO QUIT BEATING DOWN YOURSELF..I MYSELF TRYING TO GAIN SOME WEIGHT :).I HAVE A SKIN PROBLEM (PSORASIS) AND I TRY HARD TO NOT LET ANY MAN HURT ME AND JUST USE ME FOR SEX...ITS NOT BAD I DONT HAVE ANY FLARES AT THE MOMENT HOPEFULLY I WOULDNT HAVE ANOTHER FLARE UP TOO....BUT WHAT I CAN TELL U IS MAYBE I WISH I WAS IN YOUR POSITION CAUSE I FEEL AS THO I WOULD ATTRAC MORE MEN....SO U HAVE A LOTTTTTT :) TO BE PROUD OF...U HAVE NO PROBLEM..QUTI CREATING ONE.
- big girl it"s your world